Setting Up a New Windows Laptop in 2026
Like many IT-inclined folk, I was recently tasked with setting up two new laptops for my father and brother, who run a mortgage broking business. Bog-standard Office 365 apps, OneDrive, Chrome over Edge, Outlook set up and all that. Given all the commentary I've read about the decline in quality of Windows, I was interested to see how frustrating the set up would be, how much bloatware and unasked-for installs were weighing it down, and generally what had people writing pieces like these.
This was my experience.
Legend
i.e. what I guess a typical user would need to do during an average install.
- Fair enough = Must do
- Yeah, nah = Not required
- Get fucked = Get fucked
Important Info
- Laptop type: HP
- Total time: ~2.6 hours, or slightly more than a World Cup match (including breaks)
- Payment for services rendered: Familial love and continued weekly dinners with gifted, Tupperwared leftovers for my later consumption.
- Australia vs Turkiye (Group D) final score: 2-0
Steps
- Turn on laptops after connecting them to their chargers. (Fair enough, ~1.5 minutes)
- Connect to Wi-Fi. (Fair enough, ~1 minute)
- Download latest updates. (Fair enough, ~25 minutes)
- Commentary: There was an option to skip this. One laptop got stuck on 98% downloading for another 7 minutes compared to the other. - Install these latest updates after downloading. (Yeah, nah, ~20 minutes)
- Commentary: In for a penny, in for a pound I suppose. Also, the World Cup is on and it's Australia vs Türkiye. Türkiye coming in hot favourites. - Allow computer to restart, where yet more updates are installed. (Fair enough, ~3 minutes)
- Commentary: Didn't give me much of a choice. Screen goes blank a few times and gives me multiple 0 to 100 update efforts. Also get about three different types of spinners. Still nil-all at 12:53 mark. Türkiye pressing. Why is the phrase "{insert team} asking a lot of questions" a thing? Are they a press pack? - "Unlock your Microsoft experience" (i.e. Log in to their Microsoft accounts). My Dad has one but my brother didn't, and I couldn't do this later, which I found frustrating that they've deliberately made this impossible for the average user. (Get fucked, ~6 minutes as I had to set up an account for my brother)
- Commentary: SOCCEROOS GOOOOOAAALLLLL - Set up laptop PINs. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Commentary: This somehow failed on first attempt for my brother's laptop. - Choose privacy settings - only left the Find My Device on. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Commentary: Can't imagine they'd ever need this but I'll cover my own arse. - Restore from backup. I was given this option only for Dad's computer, which I went with. Opted to set up my brother's afresh. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Commentary: I'm still not entirely sure what this restore consisted of other than some wallpaper, display and taskbar settings. - Customise experience - skipped. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Use your phone from your PC - skipped. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Back up your phone's photos to keep them safe - skipped. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Commentary: Just take me to the desktop, mate. - Always have access to your recent browsing data (only Microsoft Edge) - not now. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Microsoft 365 offer - decline on my brother's for now, Dad already has it. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Get more storage with Microsoft 365 Basic - decline. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Your device comes with a free PC Game Pass - skipped. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- WE'RE AT THE DESKTOP!
- Commentary: Türkiye have had all the play since - almost snagged a couple from long range. - Uninstalled the following bloatware and unrequested applications. (Get fucked, ~12 minutes)
- Dropbox promotion
- McAfee (was made to click through three separate screens to do this, and a restart)
- Microsoft Family (wtf is this?)
- Microsoft Clipchamp
- Microsoft News
- Microsoft Teams
- Microsoft To Do
- Microsoft Whiteboard
- OMEN Gaming Hub (also wtf is this?)
- Mixed Reality Link
- Power Automate
- Web Advisor by McAfee (oi - how'd you get back here?)
- Xbox
- Xbox Live
- Commentary: This is what I meant when I mentioned I'm not sure what the restore from backup did. I purged those applications from Dad's old laptop before. - Had a play with MS Paint for old time's sake. (Fair enough, ~8 minutes)
- Commentary: This was payment in itself. Take me back. - I noticed there were 39 other driver and framework updates being flagged for install - HP, Intel, Realtek etc. Decided to pull the trigger on them because there's no way either Dad or my brother would do this unprompted. (Yeah, nah, ~22 mins to download all and restart)
- Commentary: Half time reached. Australia still 1-0 up. - Unpinned the following from the taskbar. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- HP Support Assistant
- Microsoft Store
- Copilot - Taskbar personalisation. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Turn off "Show search highlights"
- Turn off Widgets
- Turn on Bluetooth devices and Windows Updates Status icons in system tray
- Commentary: Ads and other shit in the Start Menu by default. Give me a break. - Log in to OneDrive - don't send optional data. (Yeah, nah, ~1 minute)
- Download and install Google Chrome. (Yeah, nah, ~6 minutes)
1. Make default browser
2. Pin to taskbar
3. Unpin Microsoft Edge
4. Import favourites from a bookmarks export
5. Install uBlock Origin Lite (they don't know what this is but they're welcome)
- Receive a barrage of "Don't download Chrome, Edge is all you need" notifications. Genuinely a tsunami of them. - Set up Outlook. (Yeah, nah, ~20 minutes)
1. Log in to their Gmail accounts (add profiles).
2. Grant access to view each other's email accounts.
3. Download and install classic Outlook to avoid the conversation with Dad about why his beloved email client doesn't look the same as it always does.
- Commentary: 2-0 AUSTRALIA GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL. Also, the "We'll be done in just a moment" notice lasts for six minutes. - Upgrade to a Microsoft Family Plan and add brother to it. (Yeah, nah, ~12 minutes)
- Commentary: Australia run out the game as winners. Euphoria. Dunno how we did that. Next stop, USA. - Send a long text to Dad and my brother about what I managed to do. (Yeah, nah, ~4 minutes)
- Bathe in Socceroos victory (Fair enough, ~until the next game)
Summary
- Way too much prompting for unnecessary "offers".
- Unable to set up a local account without doing an unnecessary hack.
- Too many unnecessary applications installed by default, but I was actually expecting more.
- Outlook! What is this garbage new design?
- Start menu is now a billboard. MSN can get fucked.
- I'm sure there's a bunch of other settings to toggle, or other improvements I can make, but this was enough to get them up and running. Ideally, everything in this great guide.